NEW YORK – In Michigan, one of the states hit hardest by the recession, Wendy Higgins has reluctantly told a favorite niece she might not have enough money for her wedding present in August. Higgins’ disability checks have stopped, and her husband was laid off in December. They fear they could even lose their home.
But Higgins wouldn’t miss the wedding.
“My niece said the most important thing is just for me to be there,” said Higgins, 53. “And she’s marrying the nicest boy. I’ll wait until things get better, and send a check when we can.”
An Associated Press-Brides.com poll shows that the rituals of attending weddings and giving the couple gifts, while not totally recession-proof, are still deeply important to family and friends, and pretty resistant to the economy’s meltdown.
Only 3 percent of Americans said they’d declined an invitation to attend a wedding in the past two years for financial reasons. And 90 percent of those who’d attended a wedding recently said they’d bought a gift for the couple.
But that doesn’t mean couples should assume they’re getting one: The survey, conducted by GfK, showed that only 28 percent of Americans feel couples should expect a gift.
“I just think it’s rude to assume people will give you something,” said Higgins, of Marine City, Mich.
Liz Collins of Savannah, Ga. agreed, “A present is something people should give if they are so moved,” says Collins, 31.
And yet most Americans feel obliged to give gifts nonetheless – including those who know they can’t really afford it.
Like Kellie Turpin, who was laid off from her job in car sales a year ago. At a wedding, she’d give the same kind of gift she gave before losing her job: cash or gift card, in the $75 range, or her own handmade crafts.
Turpin would also send a gift – maybe $50 in cash, or a gift certificate – even if she wasn’t attending the wedding. Many Americans would do the same: Fully 63 percent said they’d feel obliged to do so.
But men and women do not necessarily think alike on such matters.
For example, although few people said they’d be likely to attend the wedding and forgo a gift entirely if they couldn’t afford it, men, especially younger men, were more likely to do so. Only 20 percent of women of any age said they were likely to do so, compared to 50 percent of men younger than 35, and 23 percent of men older than 35.
The median price people paid for wedding gifts in the past two years was $80, though 10 percent said $300 or more.